Serious romantic relationships and spiritual understanding of God are two of the most significant issues we will deal with in our lives. They both are so powerful individually, that to mix one with the other can be seen to taint either one in some way.
This is easily seen in the way Christians are discouraged from dating non-Christians. This makes sense, because regardless of which direction they both move as they unite themselves (toward God or away from him) it is hard for either to discern their true motives. Will the believer be led astray? If the other one becomes a Christian, is that them growing closer to God, or just a path to become closer to their partner? When two very powerful things are combined, it is hard to predict or understand the results.
It blows my mind that someone could marry someone else who has a totally different belief and value system than they do. But you see this happening with marriages between Christians and Jews or Atheists and Muslims. I can't imagine being able to relate with someone who has such a different perspective on life, and I would imagine it is harder to feel intimately connected to them.
But even within the realm of Christianity, there is a wide gamut of various beliefs and practices. So even two faithful Christians trying to develop a relationship together could encounter various potential disagreements about spiritual things. I have a friend who sites "doctrinal differences" as the reason her last romantic relationship didn't work out. It is hard for me to imagine the conversation taking place that led to that outcome, and while I have teased her about that, I have to concede that it makes sense from a certain logical standpoint. You should be on the same page spiritually with your potential spouse, as you will greatly influence each other’s values and beliefs.
Beyond the basic salvation message, I believe that God makes a variety of other things available to believers, if we continue to pursue a closer relationship with him. But those further things are optional, and not deal-breakers for conversion. Some people are very passionately in favor of those things, while others are afraid of them. So having similar views on those types of things is beneficial when pursuing a relationship with someone, but how do you bring them into alignment? The pursuit of God that is entailed in that process is also a powerful factor, and both of those relationships (God and spouse) need to be freestanding. Investing in one should strengthen the other, but neither relationship should be "used" purely to further the other.
I have seen this potential conflict arise in two separate cases in my own life recently. They were very opposite situations, in that I was hoping to learn something in one case, and hoping to help someone else learn something in the other. Neither one really played out all the way, but I feel like those conflicting motives hinder the development of either process. I want to further pursue development in both of those spheres of life, but every time they intersect, they seem to conflict more than they should be expected to.
No comments:
Post a Comment