Urgent Reasons for Marriage

It is interesting to see how the last few post evolved from relationships and marriage to sex and marriage.  I got onto the relationship focus as I read through the middle of 1st Corinthians.   Then sitting in on a couple of sermons during a singles retreat at the camp I was working at, shifted my mindset towards the struggle against lust.  I have one more set of thoughts to post before I turn the topic elsewhere, as to not get too rutted in a single subject.

Paul tells us we should aim to be content in all things.  I would say that I am as content as I can imagine being in my current position.  I do believe that marriage and raising a family will "improve" my life at some point in the future, but it will also add difficulties I can't even fathom right now.  I ready to accept those difficulties, because from a certain perspective, I have pretty well conquered my current phase in life, and I am looking for what is next.  Now I was successful in that previous phase because with God's help, I approached it carefully and deliberately, with reasonable goals.  So I don't want to rush in to anything in whatever the "next" phase is, but I am trying to prepare for it properly.

Wanting to get married for its own sake is not a good foundation point, so I try to keep things in balance by waiting for the Lord's timing.  But I try to be prepared for the opportune moment, when the rights door is opened to me.  Patience is a challenge, but why?  What is the urgency we feel for things we desire?  The end of my last post prompted me to re-examine my motivations and desires.

Sexual desire is one reason that I want to get married, and it is one of the issues that makes that topic more urgent in my mind.  It's not the only factor, but I will admit that it plays a role in my priorities in that regard.  If I lost the desire or ability to have sex, I would still want to get married.  Sex is an important aspect of marriage, but not the primary focus.  In that case, I would still want someone else to share life with.  But admittedly the issue would become less urgent.

On the other hand if the girl I was interested in marrying had an issue that prevented a "regular" sexual relationship, that would be a similar but different problem from the previous one, because it involves more sacrifice, from a certain perspective. (Willingly giving up something that is already gone in the first case) While I am sure it would cause me to take pause, and pray about whether that was really where God was leading me, it wouldn't be a deal breaker.  If the issue was purely psychological instead of physical, I would see that as a bigger problem, because that would be a more significant difference between us, and our perspectives and values.  I would have an issue with that difference, on the grounds that I am looking for someone I have a lot in common with, and those desires are a significant part of who I am.  If the issue was simply a physical problem, then it would be less troubling in my mind, because characteristics of our body are less reflective of whom we are on the inside.  Regardless, the end result would be the same, in that marriage would not lead to the anticipated healthy outlet for sexual desires, which would no doubt be tough, but would reveal the true depths of the feelings involved in that relationship.

The intent of having children is a practical factor that relates to both sexual functionality (for reproduction), and a the sense of urgency, to a degree.  My 62 year old uncle got married and had a kid in the last two years.  I would prefer to start that process at a much younger age, so that I can keep up with my kids, energy-wise, not to mention live to see them graduate college.  While I would love to hurry the process along, the wise course of action appears to wait for God to open the right doors.  (So hopefully he starts doing that pretty soon;)