Going to a new school had a dramatic effect on nearly every aspect of my life. I starting becoming a better student, stopped fighting so much, and actually learned how to be friends with people. Switching from a Catholic school to a non-denominational Calvary Chapel school taught me all sorts of new things. I discovered that being Catholic wasn't similar to: say-being Irish, where you are born that way, and there is nothing you can do about it. The fact that not everyone believed that Jesus was God, and that that was a disputed idea in the world, had never been addressed in my Catholic background.
I like to describe my perspective on being taught about Jesus, as a cross between George Washington and Santa Claus, and all of them were taught to me the same way, as fact. (Yes, of course they were real, and they each do some amazing things.) But of course there is a difference. Both Jesus and Washington were "real people," (while only Jesus and Santa are "always watching";) but Jesus' true identity is widely debated. (Ironically a more recent study into Washington and other founding fathers reveals that revisionist history has had a similar effect on how they are now remembered as well.) But what you believe about Washington's spiritual ideas doesn't actually matter, while what you believe about Jesus' ideas probably does matter, in the grand scheme of things.
I had also never heard of ideas like evolution in the closed off world of the Catholic perspective, which never even acknowledges opposing views. Calvary was much more open about things like: "these are beliefs, not everyone shares them or agrees about them, and what you think about them is significant." They also had a fairly anti-Catholic view on many things, that my Dad was completely oblivious to until about 15 years later, especially since we were still attending a Catholic church for most of that time.
The idea that I had to accept the belief in Jesus as the Son of God was first presented to me during this time, although not in any dramatic fashion. In many cases in life, there is more to be learned from other people's presuppositions than what they are actually trying to communicate. For a long time I wondered whether I believed in Jesus because I truly believed it in my heart, or just because it had been taught to me as pure fact for so many years. The only thing that eventually put that anxiety to rest was that a year later I was able to look back and see how much I had changed. I no longer was fighting all of the time, got a long with my brother (although not perfectly by any means), wasn't lying to my parents anymore, and had more positive ways of seeking attention.
That doesn't necessarily prove that I am a Christian, by any means, but I know it was God changing me, as opposed to being the result of me trying to be a better person. I wasn't even conscious of the fact that I needed to change, because even though I was aware that life pretty much sucked at that point, I didn't think that there was anything I could do to actually change that fact. So that change was evidence of God working in my life, and went a long ways towards putting that fear to rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment