The Value of Friends

It may not be too difficult to identify from my recent posts, that the last few weeks have been a very difficult time.  At times my friends have been amazingly helpful in this process, and at other times it felt like they were nowhere to be found.  That was probably mostly a perception issue, but there is great value to having people that you know you can count on to be there for you.  Things have been improving greatly in that regard, specifically over the last week and even more so in the last 48 hours.  I have had the chance to see most of my friends, including ones I rarely see from places like SoCal or the Bay Area, and even South Africa.  And I have had the time to just relax and enjoy being with them.  I no longer feel like finding someone to talk to is a challenging ordeal.

There is a big difference between talking to someone one-on-one, and having a group conversation.  Each has its place and value in the context of a relationship.  Most of the last month has been fairly heavily weighted in favor of one-on-one talks, which was what I needed, to help me sort out issues with death, emotions, and family relationships.  And then the last couple days I have had many more people around, so most of my conversations have been group oriented.  Even just adding a third person totally changes the dynamic, and while it usually steers things into less deep topics, the results are usually a more relaxing experience.  And adding even more people makes that effect stronger, without deliberate intervention.  It is possible to have a group conversation about pretty deep issues, but it takes a skilled facilitator to make that happen, as well as a little help from God.

Trusting people is fairly challenging for me, and is usually a slow process for me to develop.  I realized today, while sitting around a table of my friends, that almost all of the people that I trust most, were sitting right there in front of me, all at the same time.  I was lucky to have that many solid friends, and lucky to have them all there with me.  Ironically I recognized when I got home later, that I had no one to tell about figuring that out, because all of the people I would usually talk to about things like that, had been there.  Never before had so many people that I trust been in one spot, especially to the total exclusion of others  There isn't much that I wouldn't be willing to share with each of these people individually, but in a group setting, the conversation was still relatively light.  Now that type of conversation has its place, although I am usually less consciously aware of the benefits of that, as I am after having a really good deep talk with someone.  I think God knew what I needed at the time, even if I would never have planned it that way, and made it happen.  The sense of peace I have from realizing that I can just relax with my friends and not worry about anything, is not the outcome I would have expected, but I am definitely not complaining.  Life is weird, and I have said that a lot recently.