Climbing with Weights

I have had an interesting experience in the spiritual realm over the last week or so, that has been quite powerful.  It is kind of hard to explain in that context, so I will try to use an illustration from the physical world.

Imagine that life is like trying to climb a really tall rock face, and you have been climbing with a huge weight hanging from you.  It’s like there is bag hanging from you that catches all of the little rocks that you break loose when you aren't being careful.  And over time that weight begins to add up, until you can barely hold yourself in place, let alone keep climbing upward.  That is the way things have felt for quite a long time, and nothing seemed to improve the situation much.

It’s not like I don't know that those rocks are landing in the bag, and weighing me down.  Because of that, I try to be careful, but it still happens, and there were a lot there before I even noticed what was happening.   I don't know what to do about it, and I recognize that it is only getting worse.  It's not an uncommon problem, everyone deals with it to some degree, but I had a whole lot of rocks down there.  I pray about it, read about it, and try to do all sorts of things to solve the problem, but nothing seems to help.  My response to that over the years has been to fight it constantly, clawing my way upwards regardless, dragging the weight behind me.  This has resulted in me becoming a very strong and disciplined individual.  I have a very deliberate and methodical approach to persevering through struggles.  The development of these characteristics has led to success in many other aspects of life, but has not allowed me to overcome the original problem, only to survive it.

And then one day, suddenly the weight is gone.  I can’t tell if the bag broke free, or it just got emptied of rocks, or if it is still there and someone else (God) is lifting it to take the weight off of me.  I don't know exactly what happened, but it is no longer pulling on me, dragging me down.  Now I still plan to be careful, and avoid dropping anymore pieces of rock, but I can now resume climbing unhindered.  It makes me much more productive, and gives me a whole new perspective on what is possible.  I didn't do anything different to trigger that change, so I can't take credit for it.  It gives a whole new meaning to the idea of "not me, but Christ through me."

The fact that I don't control the solution is a little unsettling, what if the problem comes back?  One thing is certain, I now know that it is possible for the weight to be removed, and I know exactly what that feels like to have that happen.  I had gotten to the point before, where I could no longer imagine what life would be like without it, and didn’t think it was possible to totally get rid of it.  So if I ever find myself in a position like that again, I will know exactly what to be praying for, and know that it can happen.  “Through God all things are possible,” and I always knew that, but it is different to see it happen than just to believe it.