Punishing versus Forgiving Yourself

Punishment is the opposite of forgiveness.  Punishment goes beyond the natural consequences that result from an unwise action.  It implies a level of punitive retribution.  This is frequently done for the satisfaction of the victim of that action.

I have been doing some reading recently, and the concept of the importance of forgiving yourself has come up repeatedly.  While I see the significance of that action, I am not sure if it is as simple as it sounds.  On the other hand, it was only last night that the idea of self-punishment occurred to me.   I have heard of it happening, but I had never really thought about it.  It is hard for me to relate to someone who feels the impulse to do this.

The first question that comes to mind is: if you don't forgive yourself, are you automatically punishing yourself.  I believe there is a middle ground on this one, so that may not be the main issue.  Punishing oneself would be more of an active response, than the passive option of withholding forgiveness.  So why do people do this?  It may result from the patterns they set when interacting with others, since people who punish themselves probably are the same ones who feel it necessary to punish those around them when they feel wronged.  If they are the victim of their own bad decisions, then maybe punishing themselves makes the victim side of them fell better.

This is not to be confused with preventative actions, in a proactive attempt to avoid making the same unwise decision in the future.  If there is a pattern that appears to consistently lead to the same negative result, then doing things to avoid that pattern from repeating would not necessarily be punishment, even if they are unpleasant.  Neither would doing something unpleasant that had the result of righting the original wrong.  Returning something you stole would not be punishment, while paying back more beyond that could be.

I was looking at a person as a whole in the above examples, but it could also be seen as a conflict between different parts of us.  Our body doesn't always do what our mind wants it to, whether it is because we aren't strong enough, or too tired, or what ever else.  Pain could be your body punishing your mind for what it was ordered to do.  But if your mind (the aspect of your personhood that you exert the most conscious control over) starts to punish your body in return, that is a problem.

So the take away at the end of the day is this: while with God's help we may be able to overcome our sinful nature, our bodies are still weak, (as are our minds from a certain perspective) so we will still fail on occasion.  While it is not always easy to forgive ourselves for our own weaknesses, punishing ourselves is a ridiculous proposition.  And rarely is punishing others going to be a wise course of action either.  I will try to better examine forgiveness in the near future, especially as it applies to ourselves.