I have had a theory for a long time, that everything in life can be filtered down to a desire for attention. Paying attention to something presupposes that there is nothing more important for us to be thinking about or doing in that moment. If someone is paying attention to us, it validates us and our desire to be significant or matter. We give our attention to those we love, and desire others to love us by giving us their attention. Whether it is a child on a swing yelling "Mommy, look at me!" or a girl putting on makeup to enhance her beauty, or a guy demonstrating his strength to show off, it is all motivated by a desire for the attention of others. Successful communication requires attention to be paid, especially by the listener. I think this also summarizes the basic pattern of relationships, giving each other our attention.
In its negative form, children frequently act inappropriately out of a desire for attention, because they subconsciously recognize that it is natural for people to focus more on problems than solutions. Even if the result is them being punished, at least that means their parents were paying attention to them. The actually phrase "paying attention" is significant in that it illustrates that our attention is a commodity that we must actively choose to bestow on others around us.
This is related to the idea that our time is a commodity, and how we spend it reflects our values. Paying attention requires both our time, and a deliberate focus on caring about the outcome of what we are doing. It is very possible to give our time but not our attention to something. When we are just mindlessly going through the motions, or are distracted by other things that seem more important, we aren't really paying attention.
An examination of the deeper principles of the Bible reveals that God strongly desires our attention as well. This is what prayer essentially is, talking to God and listening to him. God makes a significant point about not wanting people to forget what he has done, for his chosen people in the Old Testament, and for everyone through Jesus in the New Testament. This is similar to the way that people want their roles and contributions to be acknowledged and remembered, which I have thought about a lot recently, while spending a week working on the credits for my movie. We are instructed to have God's word on our minds at all times, and not to let ourselves be distracted by the world. He expects to be the most important thing in our lives, and when the credits for the universe roll, God will be listed in every position, and have all of the credit and glory.
The fact that we all desire the attention of others, leads to the situation of there being many demands on our attention. Entertainment, media, and advertising are all constantly bombarding us with requests for our attention. Our family and friends seek our attention, whether they voice that request directly or not. Our employers expect us to pay attention at work, and our teachers and professors demanded it in school. With all of these things fighting for our attention in very visible and sometimes obtrusive ways, it is easy to miss the soft voice of God in our hearts, who is also looking for our attention.
It is a bit sobering to contrast this principle of our innate desire for the attention of others against the amount of time I spend alone. I don't think that is necessarily an indication that I am failing in some way, but I don't think that is how God intended us to ideally live. Spending so much time alone may make it easier to hear God at times, but God also speaks to us through other people around us. "It is not good that the man should be alone;" (Genesis 2:18) I probably spend too much time alone, but that is a default state that I have trouble overcoming. Opportunities to interact with others rarely seem to flow naturally, and are a constant struggle. While I have a desire for the attention of others, my need to appear independent, both to myself and others, limits how far I will go in seeking the attention of others. And sometimes it feels like no one really desires my attention, which is why work can be such an addictive draw to some people. I know one place where people care whether I am around or not, and while at a certain level I don't necessarily enjoy being there, it does admittedly fulfill certain needs and desires. Work is probably the one thing that I let myself focus too much of my attention on, but that pattern has definitely improved over the last year, so I am clearly growing in that regard.
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