One Week a Month

That fall we had a discussion about my compensation at work, and while the company couldn’t afford to give me a raise, I instead asked for one week off per month, so I could go home to NorCal regularly.  That was a satisfactory conclusion for everyone, and I scheduled my trips home on weeks that the company was less busy.  At home I was able to stay in better contact with my friends from camp, and host big BBQs at my parent’s house on a regular basis.

I also maintained a consistent online conversation with P once camp was finished for the summer.  That relationship played a fairly significant role in my life at that point.  Among other things, it kept my focus on NorCal, and planning to move back up there.  I think that was a good thing, since that eventually did happen, and has been a positive change in my life.  The relationship itself was interesting, because we were two people who were on the introverted side of the spectrum, slowly building a connection and getting to know each other.  I was pretty elated at that point at the positive progress in that regard, and maybe more so at the lack of negative setbacks, which I was more accustomed to.

At that point I was operating under the assumption that P wasn’t ready for any closer relationship.  I had previously dated someone, and had close friends of the opposite gender, so it was a bit less of a foreign idea to me.  But that had been the result of much effort and growth on my part over the last few years, and I could still clearly recall what it had been like to be in her position myself, not so long ago.  I was well aware that even being friends with people of the opposite gender can be stressful if you are not used to it.

While I was deliberately pursuing a relationship with her, I avoided pushing things in a specifically romantic direction.  Instead I kept things focused on developing a stronger friendship, and becoming more open with one another.  I figured that would be a healthy growing process for both of us, regardless of whether or not it ultimately led to the destination I was hoping for.

I just maintained a constant line of communication with her online, and tried to be as open as possible, to get to know each other better.  And when opportunities to get together presented themselves, I definitely tried to help make that happen.  When I took my monthly trip home in October, I asked to get together with her.  She agreed to go hiking together before I left, and we didn’t let a light rain stop us from meeting up.  It was definitely nice to see her again after a few months of online dialog, but I don’t think either of us was quite comfortable enough with that type of social situation to really relax and enjoy it.  And her dog definitely kept us on the move, but we did get to spend some time together, and that seemed like a positive step.

And as soon as we got back to our cars and left, I was on my way back down to LA. The contrast between my time in NorCal and my time down South was pretty dramatic.  And while I valued each in its own way, I knew where I wanted to be spending my time.  And I recognized that my time in LA was starting to take a toll on me, both from working too hard, and just in little traits that I noticed myself picking up from being in that culture.