Learning to Do Leisure

I am not very good at making a point to set time aside for leisure.  If the opportunity presents itself, I am getting better at making sure I take it.  But when those opportunities don't present themselves on their own, I eventually find that aspect of life lacking.

I used to feel guilty any time I wasn't doing something productive, but now I am conscious that spending time with other people is usually well worth the time invested.  That is "the point" of all of that work I do, to facilitate time spent "fellowshipping" with others.  But I still have trouble with the idea of taking time "off" when I am by myself.  I feel like I should be "doing something."

I did a lot better over the last couple of months, because having a girlfriend causes many of those opportunities to present themselves on a regular basis.  And having someone else to spend time with facilitates that process as well. Just having someone to talk to is its own form of leisure, which is far better than the alone equivalent of: thinking.

I know that "relaxing" isn't necessarily doing nothing, but I am not particularly good at doing either one, let alone both.  I find that when I am alone, my idle time is not spent effectively.  One could argue that is the whole point, but I in this case, it goes beyond that.  I need to get better at resting, both reserving time to do that, and then using the time that has been reserved for it to actually rest.  This includes sleep, although I have no conscious control over whether I am successful at actually falling asleep, not doing other things instead seems like a good start to facilitating that process.  And maybe the reason I can't sleep is closely related to the part about not being able to relax.  But what can one do about that?

What I do know is that I "relax" better when I am spending time with other people, so I probably should try to spend less time alone.  But most of what I have been doing recently is fairly solitary be default, and I don't exactly have too many social opportunities presenting themselves to me.  So I need to seek out those communal leisure activities more.