I have always been a strong proponent of the idea of
"function over form," in nearly every possible context. I see the effort our society puts towards
"keeping up appearances" to be very disingenuous. This is most obviously apparent in people's
physical appearances, and what it says about their identity. I am generally opposed to any deliberate change to one's
appearance, being made purely for aesthetic reasons. This applies to tattoos and piercing, dying
one's hair purple, or even excessive use of makeup. This is less of an issue for guy's
appearances, but they have their own sets of issues. Some guys go to the gym so that they will look strong and ripped. In the rare event that I do some form of
exercise for its own sake, it is so I will be
healthier and in better shape, not so I will look like I am in better shape.
I have always liked to think that I was primarily interested
in specific girls for reasons that went far deeper than their outward
appearance. And while I am sure that has
always been true, it would actually bother me a bit when I would learn that
someone else agreed with me that a certain girl was attractive. The basic question running through my mind
would be: "is she only attractive to me because she is attractive to
everyone?" I don't think that was
the case, but that was something I was concerned about, and those types of
universally attractive characteristics usually revolve around appearance. And even recognizing that I too have preferences
related to outward appearance kind of bothers me at some level.
And then there is the case of my own physical
appearance. It is not something I spend
too much time worrying about. Maybe I
should put at least some effort into it, but I sort of make a point of not altering it. The only things I used to do on a daily basis
growing up, was comb my hair, but now I keep it cut short enough that I don't
even need to do that. I do have facial
hair now, and that requires some level of conscious decision on a daily basis,
I usually take the lowest maintenance route I can come up with. Clothing wise, I am known for wearing a
T-shirt and jeans at work, no matter what the occasion, kind of like
Zuckerburg's trademark hoodie.
So we can safely conclude that I am not too concerned about
my physical appearance, but that topic has come up in a number of contexts recently
that I am not accustomed to. I have
always figured that regardless of how I feel about my appearance, I am probably
average looking. I intend to get married
someday, and my wife is going to have to accept how I look, because I have no
intention of changing. I know I have
lots of other positive characteristics, so I figured those should offset
anything I am lacking in the appearance department. But the idea that my actual appearance might
be a positive instead of a negative in that context is kind of a new idea.
There was a girl a while back who was very excited to see me
with my shirt off, which I never would have expected. Now admittedly, three years of ropes course
building has really developed my upper body, but I had never thought about that,
not even once. Then I have had other
people tell me they like other aspects of my outward appearance as well
recently, and even just a couple of comments have a way of reframing my own perspective on that
topic a bit. I still have no intention
of doing much to alter or improve it,
but it does lead to a bit of confidence in an area where there was none before.
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