Monday, August 20, 2012

Learning How to Wait-Probably an Essential Skill

The next day was Friday, and I didn't see W even once all day, which was fairly unusual, so I would have to wait until after the weekend.  That evening, while I was helping my Mom make dinner, she asked in her teasing way, "So, are you going to find a cute girl to ask to the dance?"  My normal answer is a sarcastic "right," and to roll my eyes.  Instead I just dropped an "I already did," and ducked out of the room.  My recollection is that she was peeling carrots, and I heard her drop both the peeler and the carrot into the sink as she stared at me walking away.  Obviously I had to eventually provide more details, and she was convinced that I needed an answer before Monday, in order to prepare.  I called W's house, but she wasn't home.  So I had in interesting chat with her dad instead.  Talk about being out of my depth, and I still didn't have an answer.

I had received my first real compound bow for Christmas the previous month, and it got a lot of use that weekend.  I spent hours out in the field, shooting a single arrow into my haystack, and then retrieving it (aka deep in thought).  That got me nowhere, but it was all I could do at that point.  I probably prayed about it a lot, but I am not even sure what I was praying for.  I am not sure if I was more nervous about her saying "no," or the ramifications of her saying "yes."

I finally managed to catch-up with W right before classes started on Monday morning.  I only remember the results of that conversation as well, as opposed to exactly what was said.  I guess her cousin had been trying to set her up with someone, and that had come through, so I was out of luck.  I don't recall that being the reason for the original "Maybe," but I am willing to take her word for it.  It was both a crushing blow, and a giant relief.  I had been rejected, but no longer had to worry about the answers to all of those logistical issues that would have arisen.

I had Calculus later that day, and the topic came up with my classmate of course.  "So are you going to find a girl to ask to the dance?"  "I did, she said No."  "Oh yeah, sure you did.  You're full of ****."  And he turned back to his assignment.  The girl sitting behind us, who had heard our earlier conversations, asked: "Wait a minute, you're not kidding.  That really happened, didn't it?"  Shrug and a nod.  The horrified look on her face was actually encouraging; at least someone understood.

I did end up going to that dance anyway, alone.  From a practical perspective, I realized I needed to have a better idea of what that would entail, before I contemplated trying to invite someone to one again.  I basically did nothing but stand in the corner with a couple of other people I knew, but I got to see "what the big deal was," if you could call it that.  I have absolutely zero inherent interest in dances (or dancing), but it was the only context that I could imagine exploring serious guy-girl relationships at that point in life.  That situation was also probably a key motivation in getting my drivers license.  I'd had my permit for nearly a year by then, and had put off getting my license to avoid an increase in my parents insurance.  But I wanted a "potential solution" available if I found myself in that position in the future.

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