Clearly modern life presents us with many decisions to make. At this moment, at some level I am facing a number of big decisions, including:
1. Where to live
2. Where to work
3. How to spend my free time
4. Who to spend it with
The answer to the first one is usually dictated by the answers to the last three. The answer to the second one is usually limited by one's qualifications and the options available. Decisions related to free time are frequently challenging ones, as taking deliberate control of that aspect of life requires discipline, and knowing what to do with that level of control takes wisdom. Who to spend it with is usually limited by location and availability unless you count Skype or can handle long phone conversations. One goal I have that fits into this category, is finding a wife who is a suitable match to me. That isn't a decision on its own, but a goal that will both influence and be influenced by the decisions that I make in that regard. Having solid friendships is another goal I have that will be realized through the choices I make with those last two decisions.
As for where I stand now, I have short term solutions to the first two, each of an explicitly temporary nature. I am satisfied with each for now, as a step in the process, but appreciate the eventual need to move on, to keep me from being too complacent in my current position. I try to be conscious of alternatives to my current solution as I come across them. That is why I consider myself to be facing those decisions at the moment, even though I am not without answers to them at the moment.
As to how I spend my free time, recently I have been fairly consistent in spending it explicitly in learning new things. That has included reading new books, attending trainings, testing new ideas, and having challenging conversations with people. I have been aiming to do this for a long time with some degree of success, but the last few weeks have been especially fruitful in that regard. This site is a part of that process of taking deliberate steps to grow and learn, as well as examine the choices I am making when faced with a decision, and why. The motivation for this comes from my realization that the decisions I face in the near future may be some of the most significant ones in my life.
Up until about a year ago, the course of my life had been in a fairly consistent direction. That direction continued through the decisions that I made throughout my life. That direction also influenced the choices that I made when facing those decisions. Staying the course is usually easier than changing your heading, and if things seem to have been going well so far, why risk trying something different? The direction I has going was acceptable to me until I got to where I was headed. I decided in high school that I wanted to build a technology based company from the ground up, and develop every system from scratch. Four years out of college, I had fully accomplished that, creating all of the technology support infrastructure for the film production company I worked for. I designed and implemented every system in our facility, from power and phones to hardware and software. I am proud of the fact that my company has a reputation for being on the cutting edge, in large part due to my role there. It isn't that I didn't like where I ended up, it was everything I thought it would be. It's that I didn't feel a need to continue on past that point just because that is the direction I was already headed in.
That decision became the first real deliberate change of direction in my life, and is how I ended up moving from LA to a small Christian camp in northern California. My objective was to rebuild their ropes course, and help them through some big transitions. Once again I have reached the destination I set, and am looking to see what is next. Continuing on in the current direction past the destination I have reached would be to go rebuild ropes courses in other locations, but I ask myself, why I am doing that. Is it because I actually want to reach a further destination in that direction, or just because that is the direction I am already headed in? I currently have plans to "try out" continuing in that direction with one or two projects, but is that wise approach to the issue, or just an excuse for "drifting" until I find a new destination? Although I am not certain, it seems that drifting in what might be the right direction should be better than waiting stationary until I have a more clear direction or goal. Drifting instead of making a decision is usually motivated by a fear of cutting off options, which will be the topic of my next post.
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